


Meant to not be

by InexperiencedFoxWriter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bad Decisions, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Ice Powers, Mind Control, Protective Nick Fury, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:21:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28987746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InexperiencedFoxWriter/pseuds/InexperiencedFoxWriter
Summary: I suck at summary but ok, here it goes, this is a soulmate angst fic. Reader has ice powers, and also kind of mind control powers, she becomes part of the avengers where she founds her soulmate, with the surprise that he doesn't want her, and that lead her to a path pain in which she will find the strenght to become her bas ass self, but his soulmate might be hidding something from her to protect her or so he thinks or not, I still don't decide it. what will the future has for her in store???.  not even I know.Follow me on Tumblr like: inexperiencedfoxwriter.tumblr.com
Relationships: Clint Barton/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Reader, Peter Parker/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader, Thor (Marvel)/Reader, Tony Stark/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

In our world soulmates were real, we would get soulmarks, two soulmates would share the same soulmark they could be words or an image, they would be unique, there was never two pairs who would share the same soulmark or even similar. You would get them at any point in your life, or even be born with it, they say that when you meet your soulmate you feel this force puling you towards them, that just with one look into its eyes you fall in love immediately. The general concept of it was all very romantic, someone who was made to love you unconditionally, someone just for you, who wouldn’t want that, but like all in life not everything was pink colored, it would be beautiful if everyone found they one person for them, if when you find them they love you, but what they didn’t show in movies, books or tv show were those who when found they’re soulmate didn’t want them, or didn’t love them, and you would say well, with time they would fall in love, but what if your other half already loved someone else or didn’t believe in soulmates or your mark took so long to appear on its skin that they moved on without you. It’s really sad to think of it. And in my mind I away hope that wouldn’t happen to me, deep in my mind I programmed myself to believe that when I found my soulmate he or she would love me, just like it happened to my parents, but nothing I could have said to myself prepared me for what was gonna happen.


	2. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, hope you all like this, this is the first chapter. it's a little background from our reader. Forgot to tell this story follows after civil war, but here tony forgives steve, and in here Thanos doesn't happen.  
> If you can and want go follow me on Tumblr, I also post there: https://inexperiencedfoxwriter.tumblr.com/

I was born with my soulmark, a red snowflake, in my right shoulder, growing up I would show it off every time I could, I was really proud of it, I would always dream of the day I would meet my soulmate, being fed of romantic stories from my mother of how she and dad met, I would imagine sweet and romantic scenarios in my head. But my snowflake isn’t the only thing I was born with, my parent didn’t realize of my powers until I was 3 and they enter to my room filled with snow and ice, and later when I was 5 they realized the magnitude and how truly dangerous I could be if the wrong people got their hands on me, with one word from me I could make them do as I please, it wasn’t only mind control, it wasn’t forcing them to do my every will, mind control could be easily stopped, or prevented, it easy to know and identify mind control, train yourself to avoid it, but no, my power was so much more, it was making them believe they wanted to do it or say it, it was crawling in people minds and lulled them to think it was their ideas, never knowing it was me. 

We lived in a small town very close to the city, we were happy, and we lived a calm life, they always told me to not show my powers, there were bad people who wanted people like me, in my pink colored bubble I never thought it real until they came for me, I was ten when they took everything away from me, they came in the middle of the night, we weren’t prepared, dad hide me in the basement which function also as a lab, it was the most secure place of the house, he told me to not come out until they told me to, I wanted to help them I knew I could, my powers could help, but he insisted he and mom could do it alone, it felt like time went slower being down there not being able to help, only seeing the cameras and watching how they tortured and murder my parents, everything only because they wanted me and a project in which they were working. later other group of men arrived and they killed the group who murder my parents, I saw them trying to save them, that’s when dad said I could come out, when I left the basement, I couldn’t talk, the house was a mess, entering into the living room, I saw mom’s body covered by a sheet, when I got close to dad he only said goodbye to me, told me they loved me and that I could trust these men they were friends, after that I don’t remember when they took me out, it all happen in a blur, later when I calmed a man introduce he had an eyepatch and told me he was Nicholas Fury, he worked with dad and they were friends, he told me they would take care of me now, S.H.I.E.L.D he said.  
The first months of my staying were full of sadness and then anger, with time Nick explained to me what SHIELD was and what was my parents roll on it, what HYDRA was and why they killed my parents. I asked him to train me, not only to control my powers, but also to become a spy for them to be able to get revenge and help take down HYDRA. He accepted, I was an asset he couldn’t let go, my powers would be useful. Under the tutelage of Nick’s best and most trusted agents Natasha, Clint and Maria I trained, becoming not only a spy but also a really good sniper and a hacker. But what really gave me the upper hand were my powers which stayed hidden from everyone. But he kept me in the shadows, no one knew who I was, there weren’t record of me, I like to think he knew or suspected about HYDRA infiltrating SHIELD and that’s why he hide me, or also because after all the years he came to think of me as an adoptive child to him, and like any father he felt the need to protect his child.  
Even after the Avengers he kept me in the shadows, he didn’t trust them fully, he saw the cracks in their group, and he couldn’t trust his most valuable treasure to these group of unknown and damaged people. After the accords he was proven right, but later the unthinkable happen, Tony forgave the Captain and allowed his friend to come, not fully forgiven by Tony but he put aside his difference for the sake of the world, the former Winter Soldier was given a pardon due to him being mind controlled by HYDRA. The Avengers weren’t a strong team there were still some cracks in their group but they were better, enough for the former director of SHIELD to introduce his daughter to the team, and with Natasha and Clint in the group, he felt a little better about allowing me to be a part of it. Thinking nothing would hurt me with them so close, but oh how wrong he was, because by doing it he sealed my fate, one that my parents were so adamant to avoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it. and again if there were any mistakes sorry.


	3. Meeting the team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to meet the team and bond with them before shit hits the fan, and for the first time in years you think about your soulmate.
> 
> I wanted to give the reader and the team time to get to know each other and become friends, to give more background, and not only going direct to angst. but also because these bonds will help her in the future.

Arriving at the compound was exciting, being in the shadows and isolated from everyone started to become tiring, I knew Nick wanted to keep me safe but I missed talking to other people, and over everything I was excited to be able to train with the team, they were super-soldiers, gods, enhanced people and the best spies in the world, I could learn so many tricks from them. During the drive to the compound Nick kept telling me all the rules and reminding me to take care of myself, he sounded like a mother hen but I didn’t tell him that, it came from a place of worry and even if he didn’t want people to know it he was a big softy inside, especially for me. 

When we arrived at the compound Maria was waiting for us, getting down from the car I could help it but to jump from excitement from seeing my old friend, if someone knew who I was it would be a funny view, one of the best spies in the world jumping like a five year old from happiness.  
-Hi Maria, I’m so happy to see you-  
\- Hey y/n, how are you? Prepared to be thrown to the wolves?-  
\- happy to finally be out in public, as an adult- I said while looking at Nick, he just scoffed and while I was admiring the view he gave Maria an indication about a new mission, he turn to see me  
\- ok kid, I have to go, I will be expecting a report from you and your progress.-  
\- thanks Nick, take care-  
\- you too kid, bye-

After he left Maria guide me inside, she gave me a quick tour of the compound and when we finally arrived at the living quarters she took me to the common room. Were everyone or well almost everyone was gathered. The first ones to say hi were Clint and Nat. while the others were curiously watching us.  
\- Hey y/n/n, did the guard finally left you out of jail?- she told me with a teasing tone  
\- Ha, yeah, I chewed his ear out, he couldn’t with me anymore.  
\- Well, I’m happy you’re here, Wanda and I need another girl around, the testosterone is killing us. Talking about it I will introduce you 

Turning around you could see 6 people around.  
\- Ok everyone this is y/n, and y/n this is everyone  
\- Wow, thank for the introductions there were so useful to know their names  
\- Don’t twist your panties, I was getting there, the first one is Tony, the pretty redhead next to him is his soulmate, she’s Pepper, next to them is Peter, the red toaster is  
Vision and next to him is Wanda, believe or not they are soulmates. Wilson, Barnes and Steve aren’t here they are on a mission and probably will arrive in a week or so. Thor and Loki are in Asgard and you never know when they come. And the rest are out doing only they know what. 

There was a chorus of Hey!, when Tony came close and extended his hand  
\- Ah so you must be the supposed spy, Nat hasn’t stopped talking about how good you are, and what is it that you do?  
\- Well I’m a trained Nat and Clint trained me as a spy, I’m also a good hacker and sniper, Oh and I’m enhanced or mutant, whatever you want to call it, I don’t care.  
\- And what are your powers?  
\- I can create and control ice and snow and also basically it’s a type of mind control but not, I can make you do as I wish but not because I tell you, more like I make you think it was your idea, so in that way no one ever catches me. Nick likes to describe it as a Siren song, I lulle your mental barriers to enter your mind and play there. But unlike in mental control, you never notice I was there and you can’t train your mind to avoid me. It’s really weird and difficult to explain.  
\- Ok Elsa, we will need to see It to believe it, I normally throw a party for new members but we will postpone it until Birdbrain, Capsicle and Manchurian arrive. And let’s hope Pointbreak and Reindeer are here too.  
\- Okeyyy, thanks- I muttered turning to see the rest of the team

After that everyone introduces themselves personally to me, they were all very welcoming, especially Wanda, we both were almost the same age and with her growing up isolated just like me we clicked immediately. They show me my room and gave me my schedule to train, they left me to rest with the promise to have a girl’s night in the week.  
Looking around my room I felt calm, with this team I knew I could finally bring HYDRA to their end, this was the reason I have been working so hard, and with that tough I fell asleep.

In the next week I bonded with the team, getting to know them better, and training with them help me become better, getting to know different styles and techniques. I even got to meet Scott and Hope, they were awesome, and they even invited me to eat with them one day at their house. In just that week Wanda and I became best friends, she told me her story, about her brother and how she found out Vision was her soulmate, during that conversation I realized that I had a soulmate too, I knew it but it’s been years since I tough about it, when I was little it was the thing I was most excited to, but after my parent death, training and defeating HYDRA became my priority, and the fact that soulmates existed went to the back of my mind. And for the first time in years, I tough about my soulmate and where he or she could be. 

During my fourth week at the compound I started to feel restless, and nervous, I couldn’t explain it, it was the kind of feeling you have when something important is going to happen, you don’t know what that thing would be only that it would be important, Wanda told me it was because I was close to meeting my soulmate, she knew because she felt the same way days before Vision came to life, she also told me she was scared because before he was vision it was Ultron who has going to take the body, but when vision came to life she realized it was fate letting her know Vision was coming, I didn’t believe her, I tough It might be another thing, maybe it was the nervousness to meet Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes and Sergeant Wilson, at the end they were people I admired, specially Sergeant Barnes, he was so strong, and he overcame every bad thing thrown into his life, he was still healing from everything HYDRA did to him, but he was fighting against them, just like you, you gave no more though to those feelings and left to sleep. When they finally arrived, it was midnight, most of the residents at the compound were asleep, me included. The next morning waking up there was a tingling sensation in my arm, specifically where my soul mark was, and I started thinking that maybe Wanda was right, and for the first time in years I felt excited about having a soulmate, I knew coming to the compound would be the best thing that could happen to me. And in a way I was right, I just didn’t knew it would be the best just not in the way I was thinking.


	4. The first time seeing your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, so here’s chapter 3 I hope y’all like it, we haven’t arrived at the angst, this is still light, I wanted to reach the angst but I tough it would be better to give more ties between the reader and the avengers, and with Bucky so when angst arrives it would be more soul crushing, I also am thinking of writing like an early fluffy ending if someone doesn’t want to read the angst, they can just avoid it, it would be like a Fire escape. also because I normally suck at writing fluffy stuff and wanted to try it, but without risking the original idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to improve my dialogue writing and I think this chapter is better than before. hope you like it.
> 
> also, the things in curvise are the reader's thoughts, like she's talking to herself in her mind.

Waking up the next day there was a tingling sensation in my arm, I paid no mind to it, ignoring it, thinking it was because I slept over my arm, and it was just still asleep, I changed my clothes, put something comfortable for later training, when I put my tank top for some weird reason for the first time I didn’t consider of covering my soulmark. But just in case I took a sweatshirt.

While getting out of my room, Nat catch me, and we started walking to the elevator to go for breakfast. “Last night triple trouble arrived, you will meet them at training if they haven’t woke up, two of them are grandpas so it’s possible they’re still sleeping” Nat said with a smirk on her face.

“Triple trouble?” I asked her

“Yeah, Steve, Barnes and Wilson, dumbasses all of them but they’re good at their jobs, haven’t talk to them, but apparently they got a lot of information from the base, changing the subject, what’s that on your arm? Is that your soulmark? And why I have never seen it before?” she asked, curiosity pouring out of her, when training wither on SHIELD, I never let anyone see it, I would hide it, it was like a painful memory from happier times with my parents, it also became my little secret, something only for me till my soulmate appeared, and then it would become something for us.

“Yeah, it’s my soulmark, I haven’t showed it in a while, and I…don’t know, I just have this feeling of not hiding it, I haven’t showed it in a long time, I used to do it all the time when I was younger, and it’s not like I’m gonna be meeting my soulmate today so I don’t care, also if someone ask I can say is a cool tattoo I got” I told her hoping she would let the subject die, when I turn my face to see her she was observing my mark with a weird look on her face.

“Why that look?” I asked concerned, “is it wrong? Is it not allowed here?, Nick never told me I couldn’t show it” I got nervous thinking I could get in trouble.

“No, it’s just….I…I think I have seen it before, it’s very familiar, but I can’t remember where exactly” she said, trying to remember. “You know, maybe I’m just confusing it, I didn’t sleep too well last night so I’m seeing things” she said with a small laugh trying to dissipate the awkwardness that settle in the discussion.

“Maybe, yeah, you probably are just confused” I tried to say it with a joking tone to calm her, I took my sweatshirt and put it on, I didn’t know why but her comment made a voice in my head said I should cover it, so I put it on “but know going to important stuff, what’s for breakfast?” and in time we were arriving to the kitchen, there were already three unknown people there alongside Tony, Wanda and Vision chatting animatedly. I smiled at them waving my hand.

“Hey guy welcome back, this is y/n, she is our new recruit, she’s Fury’s kid,” Nat said after giving a hug to each guy, she turn to see me to introduce me.

“Hey guys I’m y/n, It’s an honor to meet y’all, I can’t wait to train with you.” I extended my hand to greet first Captain America, I was nervous, in front of me was one of my heroes. “Captain it’s an honor to meet you” I told him, “hi y/n, please call me Steve, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Nat and Clint have talk a lot about you, can’t wait to see what you got.” He told me with a smile, and sincerity, god he really exuded patriotism, respect and all thing good. “Thanks Captain, sorry.. Steve” I smiled at him, then I turned to greet the Falcon, this man was a myth a legend between militaries, when I searched different techniques of fighting I came across some information, but it was mostly hypothetic, thanks to SHIELD and Fury’s access I could find more but it was still blurry, so being in front of him was and incredible experience.

“Hi, y/n, I’m Sam, but you probably already knew that, also known as the most handsomest man from the team, don’t let others tell you otherwise” Sam said, giving me a hug, he was friendly and I found myself already liking him and thinking we would get along incredibly, I was also a little Starstruck, since founding out about his military time and then being an Avenger I though Sam was exceptional, he was a normal man, no mutation or enhancement or armor, just his abilities learned with time, and he was fighting and keeping up with super soldiers, gods and enhanced people, that was something to admire, and being in front of him made me a little nervous. With time I might have develop a crush on him, but back in my head I knew he wasn’t my soulmate so it was just like a celebrity crush, or a I just met my hero and can’t think straight right now but it will pass. “Hi Sam, it’s a pleasure to meet you, don’t worry you can’t doubt what it’s obvious to the eyes” I said with a laugh. “I like her, she’s nice” He said turning to see Steve and Nat. Lastly I turned to see Sergeant Barnes, and in that moment all coherent tough went out from my head, and the tingling in my arm increased, he was even more imposing and handsome up close, and just like with Steve he was a hero I used to admire when I was a child, “Sergeant Barnes, it’s an honor, I’m really excited to work with you, I…I… I just want to say thank you for your service sir, and…. Just…it’s an honor” _God what was happening to me, why do I so suddenly became a blubbering mess, and my stupid arm increased its tingling._ I paid no mind to it, between my arm and my heart beating so fast that I knew for a fact he could hear, my brain was scrambled. He smiled at me, a flirty smile that made me giggle, _why am I giggling? What is this man doing to me?_ , his smile faltered a bit when I thanked him and what I could described as an expression of pain crossed his face “Hi doll, pleasure’s all mine” he said while giving my hand a little squeeze when he shook it, we stayed like that just shaking hands, seeing each other, until someone cleared their throat, and just as fast as his smile came it also went away and a cold stare took home in his face, awkwardly we step away from each other, Tony just gave us a weird and somehow a disapproving look, I turned to greet good morning to the rest, _ok, no coffee for me today, my heart is crazy enough already._ During breakfast I couldn’t stop from stealing glances from him, but since Tony interrupted he paid no attention to me, he smiled to everyone, except me, he wasn’t disrespectful, he was polite, just not paying attention, and my heart gave a squeeze at the fact that he wasn’t as interested in me as I was with him. I didn’t knew why I was so disappointed, I tried to scare away those thoughts, I was here to train, become an Avenger, not to romance with my coworkers. After breakfast Tony went to his lab, Wanda and Vision went out on a date, Sam had group therapy, and Steve and Bucky disappeared to Steve’s room. Nat and I went to the training room, she had a smirking look on her “What was that between Barnes and you?” She said.

“What? What thing? Nothing happened” I said nervously

“Come on y/n, everyone saw it, you were giving flirty eyes to each other”

“We weren’t, it was…just…nothing, there was nothing, you’re seeing thing, also, I can’t, we can’t, I just met him and I have a soulmate, and he probably has one, and he’s just getting himself back from everything HYDRA did to him, the last thing he needs is someone else in his life to provoke a chaos of feelings and thoughts. No, and I’m here to train just that.” I said dropping the subject all at once.

“Okay, I was just saying, giving my opinion, that’s all. By the way it’s not wrong to date somebody else, until you meet your soulmate or even after, not everyone is meant to be, don’t ever forget to put your happiness above all, in your life you’re the most important person”. She said with a sad expression

“Thanks Nat, I know, it’s just not the right time, maybe in the future, are you ok? Do you want to take a break?” I asked her, I knew she lost her soulmate when she was in the red room, one of the task to become a Widow was to take away everything that could make you weak, and soulmates were one of those things.

“Take a break? We haven’t even started, why would I take a break? Come on lazy pants not even my past will make you escape me kicking your ass today, and no powers, you need to learn to fight without them, just in case” she said now with a more teasing and relaxed tone.

“Ok, Widow, show me what you got, I’m going to crushed you today, mark my words” and just as I was finishing provoking her she made me fall into the mat. “Ok, I was distracted, it’s not fair, but lemme tell ya if I could use powers you would be begging for me to take it easy on you” I said laughing. After that we kept training, unknowing that two super soldiers were having a very similar conversation. Unknowing that a dark cloud was coming very close to the compound.


	5. Red Snowflake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky develop a friendship, the team has their first training together since you became a recruit, and you have a weird dream.   
> Warning: bad words, and angst.   
> https://inexperiencedfoxwriter.tumblr.com/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The t-shirt is something like this:   
> https://images.app.goo.gl/GZQg1GYeSPbjGkX47  
> https://images.app.goo.gl/TqSkjXxopghmDhKt5
> 
> The images are only for reference to the t-shirt, it doesn't represent the physical appearance of y/n

As the weeks went by, you became friends with Sam and Steve, with Bucky it was a little bit more complicated, he treated you with respect, he was always a gentleman with everyone, and you talked from time to time, but kept his distance, that didn’t stop you from developing feeling for him, it was as if an invisible force attracted you to him, to be close to him, when you trained together you tried to discretely see his soul mark, but he always kept covered, always wore long sleeves, just like you, except he mainly did it to cover his metal arm. Every time you were in the same room your eyes couldn’t stop from watching him, and sometimes you found him looking at you already, but as soon as you catch his eyes, he would leave to avoid you completely, Nat and Wanda started noticing it and asked you what was happening, you eventually told them about your feelings for Bucky, and like any other friend they started to push you and Bucky together every time they could. And the more they pushed the more he would avoid you. You knew Bucky was still healing from everything HYDRA did to him, so you were patient, you understood he wouldn’t be too open for a relationship, so you decided to start by being friends with him. You tried to give the firsts step into a friendship by asking him to train with you in guns and to help you with your knives skills, he agreed but never talk more than he had to, you also started your training with Wanda on your powers, you would start to control them better, but as soon as that happens, there was a little fear inside you that made you lose that control just as fast. Till now they all already saw your ice powers but you still kept your other powers occult, afraid that they would fear you or be wary of you, even though you weren’t as powerful as Wanda, you could cause more damage in the long run. You also started to think that maybe Bucky was a little scared of you because of said powers, but Steve told you, you were wrong. 

With time you became friends with Bucky, and he opened to you, to everyone in reality, but you both had a different kind of connection, you had movie nights or would spend time on your spot in the library without the rest of the team, this only made your feelings deeper towards Bucky, and it seems he started to feel something towards you, or at least that’s what Wanda and Nat told you, and as any person would do, you got your hopes up, you started to flirt with him a little, and he flirted back, soon you realized you were in love with Bucky, and even though you felt guilty because of your soulmate you couldn’t stop your feelings. 

Tony didn’t like it one bit of you liking Bucky. He was wary of the soldier, and told you it would only cause you problems, he didn’t want to see you hurt emotionally or physically, he basically adopted you as a daughter, and acted as a second father, only being overpowered in mother hen energy by Nick, who checked on you every day, and also didn’t like it one bit you liking Bucky. Even if mother hen 1 and 2 tried to avoid you and Bucky being in the same room, you find ways to avoid those two. And it was all going great, it looked like for the first time life would be on your side, and you were starting to prepare yourself mentally to finally confess to Bucky, if everything went as you hoped it would, he would return your feelings, just like Nat and Wanda predicted. Everything was going fine. 

Until the day it all crash down, it was just like any other day in the compound, you woke up, got breakfast, and went to your room to change clothes to start training, today was going to be team activity and training, you knew today would be long and exhausting, so instead of the usual long sleeve, you decided to wear just your sports bra with a transparent small t-shirt that wouldn’t affect your movements, it would barely cover your mark, it was still visible but you would have to be close. 

When you went down to the training room, everyone was there already, you had a bad feeling in your stomach, and felt like someone was pressing your heart, you ignored it and gave it to nervousness, due to this was the first time all the team would train together since you arrived. Because you were the new girl, they decided you would fight with them one by one, starting with Nat, who was your trainer. You started fighting them, and win, the last two you would fight would be Steve and Bucky, Tony wasn’t happy with you fighting Bucky, he thought Bucky could hurt you badly if he suddenly went into Winter Soldier mode, Tony thought Bucky was still a very dangerous man. But you had to fight him to prove yourself why you were on the team, and not just because your dad was Nick Fury. While you were fighting they also started fighting between them in other mats.   
When it was time to fight Bucky, he and you started rounding the mat, he moved first towards you, and you avoided his attack, to later you attacking him, and he avoiding you, you both started this weird dance attacking each other, punching and avoiding, everyone stopped what they were doing and started to watch with interest, because it did look as if you and Bucky were dancing together instead of fighting each other. The first round ended, none of you throw the other, so there would be a second round, as you went to drink water, when you turned around Bucky took off his shirt, he was sweating and the shirt was sticking to him, for the first time you saw his metal arm, you were impressed, but it didn’t last long because when he turned, you saw it, his soul mark, to say you were in shock was little to say. 

There in his flesh arm, was a red snowflake, but not only any snowflake, it was your snowflake, you couldn’t talk, your heart was beating so loudly he could heart it, and you felt like a thousand butterflies in your stomach, you were seeing him, he told you if you would continue but you couldn’t think straight, when Nat saw what you were seeing, she was as shocked as you, she finally realized why your soul mark was so familiar, she had seen it before, in Bucky when he trained her in the red room. Nobody else seems to sense the tension, everybody thought you were in shock due to seeing Bucky without his t-shirt, and they laugh a little. When Wanda shook you off, you went into the mat, not concentrate at all, Bucky asked if you were ready, not being confident in being able to talk, you just moved your head in affirmation without really knowing what you were saying yes to, suddenly you started your fight, and finally, you focus a little, but it wasn’t enough. Bucky throws a punch at you, you tried to avoid it, and in a weird movement, instead of evading him, you started to fall, taking Bucky with you, when he tried to stop you from falling he grabbed your shirt, and when you crashed into the mat and opened your eyes, you only saw his face, white as a ghost, and turned to see what his eyes were focused on, your shirt had broken when he grabbed you, especially your right arm, and in display to everyone but especially Bucky, there was sour soul mark, Bucky’s soul mark. 

You were nervous but happy that he knew too, you were soulmates, you wondered if he was feeling the same love you were feeling in the moment, he stands up and didn’t stop seeing you, when you stand up, everyone saw what Bucky was seeing, they were shocked but happy, because it’s a very special moment when two soulmates finally find each other. 

You opened your mouth “Bucky …. Are you ok?” you asked him carefully, you knew it was a shocking thing. But still with a big smile on your face.   
“I think they should talk in private, ok everyone let’s leave…..” but before steve could end his sentence, Bucky spoke “No” he said

“What? Bucky, I think it’s better if we..” Steve tried to continue

“I don’t want you” Bucky said with an angry scowl on his face 

I didn’t know what to say, what he was saying. “What do you mean? Bucky we’re…”

“No, we’re not anything, I don’t want you, you’re nothing to me”

“Buck you're shocked, maybe if you both talked alone” Steve tried to reason with him, Nat and Tony were sending death glares to Bucky, meanwhile the rest didn’t even know what to say, this should be a happy moment, especially considering that Bucky just like Steve had to wake up in the future to find their soulmates.

“No, what part of No, you all don’t understand, she’s nothing to me, no one, whatever you think it’s happening, it’s not, why would I want her? Look at her, why would anyone want her?” he said with venom in his voice, you were at the border of crying, this was the thing you were afraid of when meeting your soulmate, and it was becoming a reality. “Say that again Barnes, come on I dare you say it” Nat said not taking her eyes away from Bucky, with an angry look on her face. 

“I said why would I want her” Bucky responded, in his eyes there was no sentiment, no love, no warmth. 

You finally came out of your stupor, “I…I.. why?,” with every strength you had in that moment you took a deep breath and said “I…I love you Bucky, not just because of soul marks but because I do, I got to know you, I have been feeling this way since a..” you couldn’t finish because Bucky interrupted you “What fucking part of I don’t’ fucking want you y/n can’t you understand, just leave me the fuck alone, and you better start forgetting all that bullshit of soulmates, because is not going to happen, and especially not with me, just look at yourself, why would I want you?” he said, spitting those hateful words with as much anger as he could. He left the room, leaving everyone stunned, and without words, they all turned to see you, you couldn’t take their pitying eyes, so you left, running as fast as you could, when you finally reached your room, you closed the door, “Please FRIDAY lock my room, and don’t let anyone come in” “are you sure Miss y/l/n? you present high stress levels, I recommend going to see Dr. Cho or Dr. Banner” “No FRIDAY it’s ok, I just need sleep” “Sure Miss, let me know if you need anything else, and Miss, he’s an idiot” you had a little smile at that, that’s why you liked FRIDAY, she might be an A.I . but she was more empathic than most people “Thanks Fry”. You started crying and fell asleep soon after, you heard knocks on your door, but didn’t answer, tomorrow everything would be fine, and this would all be a bad dream tomorrow. 

Nat and Wanda tried to lure you out, but realizing you were sleeping they left, they went to Wanda’s room to try and think how to help you, and also to not go straight to Bucky and kill him. Tony and Clint were furious and tried to punch Bucky but Steve stopped them, Tony went to his lab and called Nick to let him know what has happened, Clint decided to go with Sam and Vision to Wanda’s room, and prepare something with Nat and Wanda for you for tomorrow to take your mind away of today’s events. Meanwhile, Steve went to Bucky’s room to give him a piece of his mind. 

While everyone was away, you drifted further into sleep, and there in your dream, there was a shadow, a person with no face, calling to you, telling you everything would be fine once The Order arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Order I mention here is different from the one in the comics, I put that name because I liked it, it sounded mysterious and cool. I will post a little explaining of how The Order works for future references. 
> 
> Hope you all liked this chapter.


	6. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go on retail therapy after yesterday's events at the training room, you also go talk with Nick to sort out the situation. everything seems fine, until Bucky returns to the compound after a night out. 
> 
> https://inexperiencedfoxwriter.tumblr.com/

The next morning you wake up with a headache from all the crying of the night before, you take a shower to relax and get rid of the weight on your shoulders, you felt as if your heart had been broken into a million pieces, not only did your soulmate rejected you, but you had developed a real crush on him, not just because of fate or the universe, but because you really got to know him, and that made your heartbreak even more, how could he treat you so coldly, so in disregard of you or your feelings, you weren’t asking for him to love you immediately, it wasn’t realistic those stories of you saw each other and just knew, if that was true, it would have happened long ago, but at least he could reject you with a little more sensitivity, if not because you were friends at least because you were coworkers, and you had to respect each other.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you decided to put on your best clothes, the ones who made you feel sexy and confident, did your hair and makeup, and decided to go out today and treat yourself, you gave yourself time to cry yesterday, but from today onward you would move on, for years you didn’t believe in soulmates and didn’t care about them either, why would you care now, yes you were hurt but you could move on.

You decided you would treat Bucky with education, you weren’t friends any longer that was very much obvious but you were still coworkers and you reminded yourself that you were there to defeat HYDRA not to date someone. Before leaving your bedroom you gave yourself a pep talk, and decided to go out, once you reached the kitchen Sam, Wanda, Nat, Clint, Scott and Hope were all there, and on the table there was a big delicious breakfast, all your favorites were there, the smell was delicious, and that put a big smile on your face, everyone gave you a good morning, and thankfully Bucky wasn’t there.

Before you started eating, Tony arrived, he gave you a big hug before whispering in your ear “just say the word and a bomb can accidentally hit Barnes, emphasis on accidentally” you laughed at that, “don’t worry Tons, it hurt a little but nothing that will kill me” you told him honestly, “ok kid, just remember whatever you need just ask, what are you planning to do today?” he asked, giving you the dad eyes as you called them, Nick gave you those eyes very often, they always said, I will be there for you, “I want to go shopping, I need new clothes, and probably just treat myself today, and if Nick is free I’ll bring him lunch to his office” you told him, you could see him takin out his card, ”No, no, no Tony, I have my own money, you pay us good” you tried to reject but he put the card in your hand “I don’t care kid, come on, take it, have fun, go crazy” he told you, at this Nat saw what was happening “take the card y/n is not as if you will make a dent in his account” she laughed, “ok I will take it but I might not use it” you told him, you would probably use it if there was something really pretty but really really expensive.

After breakfast, Nat, Wanda and Hope tried to go with you but you asked them to leave you alone, you needed time for yourself, they let you go with the promise that if you felt lonely or sad you would call them, when you left the tower you went to a mall in the fifth avenue and later you decided to go to the nice and expensive stores just to take a look, and maybe taking a little advantage of Tony’s card.

You were having a good day, until you felt someone looking at you, being an avenger you got used to people looking at you, but this felt different like they were following you, you turned to look around but saw no one, you went to other shops but still felt that look following you, that was a sign that it was time to visit Nick, and also go to one of the most secure buildings in the world, just in case.

You sent all your bags to the compound, after that you went to a dinner and bought something for lunch, when you arrived at the tower you went immediately to Nick’s office, on the way up you found Maria, “Hey” you greeted with a smile, “Hi y/n, how are you?” she asked you and the way she said it told you she knew about the events of the day before “How did you find out?” you asked her, you knew she understood the question, “Tony called, he was really angry” she told you with a sad lopsided smile, “does he know?” you asked moving your eyes to the roof, worrying of what would Nick do, “yep..p, he was the one who answered, he called Rogers as soon as Tony hang, to warn him that if he saw Barnes close to you or mistreating you, he would call HYDRA and hand Barnes himself to them to freeze for another 80 years.” She turned to see you, you were shocked and also a little confused, “I know, I told him that wasn’t a good plan, it would be better if we freeze him ourselves” she rolled her eyes, when she saw you laughing at that she laughed too, “good to know, but don’t worry if he mistreats me again I will be sure to freeze him myself, yesterday he caught me by surprise, won’t happen again” she laughed a little, suddenly the doors open and you both left the elevator, Maria went to her office leaving you to face Nick, outside his office you took a deep breath to prepare yourself to face him, you didn’t do anything wrong but you still were nervous, you knew he would be worried and he would become a mother hen, and that made you nervous, you weren’t a child anymore, yeah you might not be able to fully control your powers but that didn’t mean you weren’t fine.

You took another deep breath, and knocked on his door, “come in” was heard through the door, you entered his office, he was typing in his computer, “Hey Nick, I brought you lunch, hope you’re hungry” you smiled at him, giving your best puppy eyes, hoping to avoid the conversation you knew he wanted to have, “Hey kid, what did you bring me?” he turned to look at you and smile, one which not everyone got to see very often, except for you, “I bought your favorite with extra fries and milkshakes” you told him smiling, who would have tough THE Nick Fury loved milkshakes, everyone thought he was a black coffee type of guy. 

You both started eating, you ate slower than normal, you knew when you finished he would want to talk, and you were avoiding it, but at some point you had to finish, when you threw the trash, he cleared his throat, “ok, I gave you time to eat, wanna tell me what happened, and why you didn’t call me as soon as it happened?” he gave you that look of disappointment for not calling him but also you saw he was worried over you. “I’m sorry, after it happen I wanted time to myself, to think and consider what to do next, I knew you would be angry, but I wanted to tell you myself, which now I know Tony ruined for me” you hopped that would lower his guards, “I’m not going to force you to tell me what happen if you don’t want to, I just want to know how are you, honestly, and what do you want to do next?” he asked with worry in his voice, “I’m fine, better now, yesterday I was sad, and later I was angry, he didn’t even give us a chance before rejecting me, but to be honest I never tough I would find him, I didn’t care about it, it hurt yeah, but I think I will be fine, I’m strong you know that better than anyone, and what to do, I just want to keep learning and training with them, if you could avoid putting us alone together in mission I won’t disagree” you shrugged your shoulders, hoping to hide the heartbreak in your voice, even though deep down you knew he could hear the hidden meaning behind your words, at the end he knew you better than anyone. “ok, I won’t pair you together, but if he mistreats you or talks to you again like yesterday or even if I hear that he was rude to you I will interfere, and believe HYDRA would be the last of his problems” “thanks dad” you smiled, after that, the topic wasn’t discuss anymore, you talked of other stuff, you even forgot about the feeling that someone was following you, after a couple of hours talking and helping him with work a little, you went to the tower, it was late already by the time you left, once outside the SHIELD headquarters, the sensation that someone was seeing you return, you decided to take a cab instead of walking, just in case.

Once you arrived at the tower everyone was in the living room, except for Bucky, “Hey guy” you said smiling to them, “Hi y/n, how did it go? Your bags arrived we send them to your room” Nat said, “Thanks, it went fine, I had fun” you avoided telling them about the person following you, you decided to avoid it, telling yourself that maybe you were just paranoid, before you seated, Bucky entered the room, he was dress handsomely, as soon as he entered the room fell silent, he moved towards Steve, he passes close to you and shoved you with his shoulder making you lose you balance a little, “watch out” you told him angrily, “move your ass, you obstruct the way” he told you with venom in his voice. “Hey Buck no need to be rude, what do you want?” Steve asked, trying to act as a mediator and to calm everyone, “I need your motorcycle, I’m going out” He said paying no attention to what Steve said before, “sure, take it, where are you going?” Steve asked curious, Bucky never left and when he did it was with someone else accompanying him. “out” Bucky said while leaving the room, everyone was stunned to say the least, Bucky never left, he was never this rude, it was like the Bucky everyone knew turned into someone else. Everyone knew what caused this change, the question was why?.

After the very uncomfortable scene in the living room, everyone prepared for dinner, once seated at the table, the conversation turned into different topics, avoiding the Bucky and y/n being soulmates drama, everyone tried to distract you, but deep down, you were sad at how Bucky treated you, like just 2 day ago you weren’t friends and flirting with each other. After dinner, Hope, Scott and Peter went to their respective houses, leaving only the ones leaving at the compound. It was almost midnight and everyone was gossiping in the living room with a movie as background, when suddenly the elevator doors ding open, and what came out left everyone stunned and empty of words, Bucky had a blond in his arms, they were kissing, or more like sucking each other’s faces, everyone turned to see you, you were out of words, and you were trying to suck up the tears that were forming in your eyes, suddenly Bucky and the blond stopped kissing, and he turned to see you all, when his eyes landed on you, he told the blonde “come on sweetheart, let’s go to my room” with a very sexy and sultry voice. Once they left everyone turned to see you, you were out of words, after that everyone went to their rooms, while going Steve was seeing you with sorry eyes, he turned to you like wanting to say something else, but he shut up, he lived in another floor, and he went to his room, leaving you, you lived in the same floor as Bucky and Wanda, but she sometimes went to Vision’s room, like today. While passing Bucky’s room, you heard moans, and screams, normally the rooms could be soundproof or not, and apparently Bucky forgot to turn his soundproof. Once inside your room, you asked FRIDAY to soundproof it, thinking that would stopped you from hearing what was happening in Bucky’s room, but sadly that didn’t work out, you tried sleeping, but your mind was running fast and you couldn’t sleep, you tried putting music on, but it seemed like the more you tied to avoid hearing it, the more noise they made, eventually you started crying, yeah it was true you never tough about your soulmate or cared about it, what hurt was that you fell in love with him, even before knowing he was your soulmate. Suddenly someone knocked on your door, you went up and when you opened it you saw Nat, “come on kid, you don’t want to be here, let’s go to my room” you left with her, still crying, normally you wouldn’t let people see you cry, but you right now you didn’t care, you needed comfort, as you were passing the noise kept getting loud, she just hugged you and tried to cover your ears.

Once you arrived in her room, you went to bed, tired from the day, and all the crying, you were angry with yourself, you weren’t supposed to be crying for him, you promised yourself that in the morning, but it was inevitable, after seeing him with that woman. Nat just hugged you like she knew what was going inside your mind “let it out, cry all you need, it’s ok to feel sad, no one will judge you, it will stay here if you want, no one has to know your crying if you don’t want to” she told you while moving her hand in your back. For tonight you let out all that you pushed to the back of your mind, you let yourself feel all the heartbreak you tried to mask. Tomorrow will be another day, you told yourself tomorrow it will be brighter, and today would only be a very bad dream.

When you finally fell asleep, you started dreaming, you saw yourself walking from store to store shopping, when you turned you found yourself in front of the same faceless shadow from last night, deep down you knew this was the person or thing following you, but right now you weren’t scared, unlike hour before. You felt like your feet were stuck in the pavement, the shadow came close to your ear and whispered “The order need you”. When you turned the shadow disappears and instead was Bucky in front of you, with that cold look he had hours before, before you could speak he pushed a knife through your heart, but instead of pain you felt calmed, free.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone reads this I hope you like this, and please leave comments or critics, English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.


End file.
